To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
