Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bring me that man meat
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