This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
