what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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