...so i touched it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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