I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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