thus making me awesome and them whores
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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