So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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