i don't like sucking hair
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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