Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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