what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
