he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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