Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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