he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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