PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize