two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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