They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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