What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
