YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
