youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
