Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize