Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
