I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
