fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
