It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
