i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
