I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
