I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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