Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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