Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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