there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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