I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize