Say something about gay babies.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
