I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
