Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
