Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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