k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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