you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
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i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
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I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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