Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize