I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
