i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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