ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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