So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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