What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
