We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
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You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
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When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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