Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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