Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
