i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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