He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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