this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
