Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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