Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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