..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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