Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
