There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
