You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
