My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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