Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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