We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
