My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Mom said you looked used
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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