I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
